Gimme My Sake
by MarieMjolnir
Summary: Mugen must deal with a drunken Fuu Rated M for safety.
1. Gimme My Sake

"Silly bitch can't hold her booze," thought Mugen and shoved another dumpling into his mouth as he watched Fuu delicately sip her drink. Disgusted, he said, "What a friggin waste of sake."

Fuu turned her flushed face towards Mugen, grinned goofily and shouted, "Mmmm, yummy!" Mugen glared at her, but Fuu giggled and began singing,

"Grumpy Face Mugen, Grumpy Face Mugen. Is such a grump, is such a grump. Maybe if he took a bath, he wouldn't be so grumpy. Grump, grump, grump. Take a bath, take a bath."

The surly pirate clenched a fist but chose to ignore her. "What's the point," he thought, "in yelling at the little idiot if she won't remember in the morning? Yep, I'll punish her when she's nice and sober." He smirked evilly at her but Fuu wrinkled her nose and began to loudly sing The Grumpy Mugen song again.

Mugen slammed his palm onto the table, and accidentally jostled Jin with his elbow. He glanced disdainfully at Jin's slumped form and scowled. "He calls himself a samurai," thought Mugen, "Hah! He didn't even drink half a jug of rice wine."

"Damn!" he fumed, "I'm gonna have to drag their drunk asses back to the room." Mugen picked his teeth with a dumpling skewer as he contemplated ditching his inebriated companions. He yanked Jin's ponytail to lift the ronin samurai's face off a half-eaten plate of food. Mugen grabbed the remaining dumplings and plopped Jin's face back onto the plate. "Why?" he thought, "Why am I always so fucking noble?"

Fuu giggled. When Mugen glared at her she raised her empty sake cup and wiggled it. "More, please."

Mugen chewed the last dumpling and swallowed. "No."

Fuu slammed her cup down and said, "Yes."

Mugen arched an eyebrow and firmly said, "No, Fuu."

"Yes, Mugen" yelled Fuu as she reached across the table and grabbed the sake jug.

"You stubborn Bitch!" shouted Mugen as he grabbed the sake bottle and tried to pry it out of her grasp. "Damn," he thought as they tugged the sake back and forth, "she has a strong grip."

"Let go of my sake you Man-whore!" shouted Fuu.

Mugen released his grip upon the bottle, grabbed Fuu's arms and growled, "What did you call me?"

The sake bottle slipped from Fuu's grasp splashing its contents on an unconscious Jin. "I called you a man-whore," she said, "Because you'll sleep with any woman as long as she has big hooters and reasonable rates." Fuu flinched as Mugen's grip upon her arms tightened. "Face it Mugen. You're a male slut."

Mugen was beyond pissed. He dragged Fuu across the tabletop, tossed her over his shoulder and stomped toward the exit of the teahouse. "Sir! Oh, Sir," exclaimed the owner of the teahouse, "You've forgotten the bill." Mugen turned and glared at the old man who wisely placed the bill in front of the comatose Jin and said, "I'm sure your friend will take care of it when he wakes up. Have a pleasant evening, Sir!"

To be continued...


	2. SmackDown

Mugen ignored the shocked looks of passerby as he briskly strode through the village with a screaming, kicking Fuu slung over his shoulder. Even through the haze of his anger the artistic side of Mugen appreciated Fuu's creative use of obscenities. "Damn!" he thought, "I didn't think Little Miss Priss even knew those words."

An elderly woman gasped in shocked outrage after Fuu screeched a particularly vile epithet. Mugen smirked as the woman's equally ancient husband grabbed his wife's arm and said, "Keep quiet, Sawa and don't make eye contact!"

Mugen's anger dimmed, replaced by a fleeting flicker of pride in Fuu's behavior. "Always suspected the brat was a hellion," he thought. Mugen grinned wickedly and said, "Wonder what Dojo Boy would do if he could hear you now?"

Fuu's furious struggling had begun to wane but Mugen's laughter pierced through the alcohol induced fog surrounding her senses and fueled her rage into another burning tirade. "Enough, Fuu!" ordered Mugen and he lightly swatted her bottom.

Fuu gasped mid-rant, shock had rendered her speechless. Her squirming momentarily ceased as Fuu's intoxicated brain struggled to comprehend what had just happened. Comprehension dawned. "You Ass!" she shrieked and swiftly smacked Mugen's butt twice in retaliation.

Mugen halted in his tracks. His eyes narrowed into slits and his jaw clenched. "No one," he uttered, "slaps my ass, without getting paid for it, and gets away with it!" Then he delivered two stinging slaps to her ass and roughly pinched each of her buttocks.

"Ouch," yelled Fuu, "That hurt, Jackass!"

"It was meant to, Bitch" said Mugen. "Now behave or I'll..."

"Or you'll what?" demanded Fuu, then she goosed him.

Mugen jerked in surprise, his grip on Fuu slackened and she plummeted from his shoulder to the hard ground. Fuu staggered to her feet only to find herself flung over Mugen's knee staring at the ground again. Mugen relentlessly administered a blistering spanking. After delivering a half dozen or so swats to Fuu's backside Mugen gently rubbed her bottom to soothe the sting from his blows. When her sniffling subsided, Mugen asked, "Gonna behave?"

Fuu nodded her head and Mugen hauled her to her feet. "Come on," he said as he turned and walked toward the inn, "The sooner I get you to the room, the faster I can go out and have some real fun."

Mugen never saw the rock coming. "Ow! What the Hell!" he shouted as he clutched the back of his sore head. He turned around to glare at a smirking Fuu and barely dodged the second rock hurtling toward his face. "Damn bitch," he yelled, "I thought you were gonna behave?"

"I lied" she smugly stated.

The promise of retribution glinted in Mugen's eyes as he strode toward Fuu. Her smirk disappeared but she stuck out her chin and raised her fists. "Don't you dare touch me, Asshole," screamed Fuu. She haphazardly swung her fists and struck air, "Or I'll give you the beating of your life."

Mugen stood dumbstruck in the middle of the road and gaped stupidly at Fuu. She slowly circled him and waved her clenched fists in front of herself. Mugen snorted in amusement and lazily watched her creep closer. Once she was in striking range, Fuu swung her fist and punched Mugen in the shoulder.

"Ow!" whimpered Fuu as she massaged her hand. Mugen simply rolled his eyes and said, "Idiot, the thumb goes on the outside of the fist."

"Don't call me an idiot, Idiot" screamed Fuu. She glared fiercely at Mugen and said, "It so happens that I meant to do it that way. It's called the Samurai Maiden Ninja Girl Power Punch. Any fool knows that." She raised her fists; her thumbs tucked inside and declared, "That was a warning punch, so unless you want to spend the rest of your life as a cripple I suggest you apologize."

Mugen would have made a smartass comment but was too busy laughing hysterically. His left hand repeatedly slapped his leg and his right hand swiped the tears from his eyes. "Can't...breathe," he said, desperately gasping for breath as he bent his head between his knees.

"That's it!" shouted Fuu. "Don't say I didn't warn you about my Maiden Ninja Girl Samurai Thingy!" She rolled up the sleeves of her kimono, balled up her fists and charged Mugen. "Prepare to be pummeled!"

She barreled into him, knocking him face first to the ground. Fuu pounced, landed on top of him and began pounding her fists against his back. Still laughing, Mugen bucked her off him, rolled over and pinned her to the ground with the weight of his body. Their foreheads touched and Mugen's ragged breaths caressed Fuu's cheek. As his laughter slowly subsided, Mugen realized two things: Fuu was pleasantly soft and cushy as she lay beneath him and his lips were a whisper's breath from Fuu's pouting mouth.

_To be continued..._


End file.
